Sorry couldn't resist

[MTpockets]

A couple from Toowoomba decided to go to Surfers Paradise for a long weekend fishing and to thaw out during one particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years ago and fish the seaway.
Because both had jobs, they found it difficult coordinating their travel schedules.
It was decided that the husband would travel to
Surfers on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day.
Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. In his room there was a computer, so he decided to send his wife an e-mail back in Toowoomba. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.
In Cairns, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral.
The dearly departed was a minister of many years who had been called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
Upon reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived.
I know you are surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

[Maria]

Baaaaahahahahahhahaa.....that's awesome.

Ben

[jimbamb]

Good onya pockets!!!!!!!!

[Cloud_9]

LMAO

Cloud 9

[el_carpo]

Heheh! Good 1's! Believe it or not I've heard the e-mail joke before. Our priest said it as part of his homily at Sunday Mass one week! He's a very funny guy! Gets the whole church cracking up.

I would be remiss if I didn't add something to the pot here so.... I copied these off of a fishing site I visit here in Chicago. The credit goes to a poster named, "Shadrapper." As anyone who visits the saltwater fishing photos section knows, we Illinoisans don't get along too well with our neighbors to the north who stew in bitterness behind the "Cheddar Curtain." I am referring to Wisconsin--Boo! These are three little stories covering events that occured there (Again, thanks to Shadrapper):

GOOD

Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn’t getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was
standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD”.
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading
“TIPS” and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As a Wisconsin State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball.” He replied, “Wisconsin State Troopers don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.

[MTpockets]

hehe EC, man you have way too much spare time... kinda like me
cheers
Les

[el_carpo]

Yes, I do!

[philip_thomson]

el carpo that last one is great i might have to try that if i am ever pulled over i somehow doubt it would work lol. that first one is a really good sunday activity to play with a mate.
then bens is great so funny.
were is the tears of laughter smiley when you need it ???

[where_is_dave]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materialsthat she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband: "Does she realise that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered," and had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, It's a Ferrari..."

[philip_thomson]

that is such a good one how would you feel having a nice ferrari painted buy a blonde? >

[Wello_Pete]

Old couple in a nursing home decide to marry, and they have to agree on several issues, like household chores, gardening, foods they like and dislike. Of course the discussion then came to sex.
"How do you feel about sex" he says
"I like it infrequently", she replies
After a moment, he asks "Is that one word, or two"

[MTpockets]

Ya just gotta love a clean joke..... they dont have to be dirty to be funny..... just cracks me up thinking about the poor old Ferrari done in a mission brown shade

[Dirty_Mole]

i just love blonde jokes

[PinHead]

Gino had just arrived in the country from Italy. He and his brother Mario were after some work as truck drivers. They went to one of the transport companies at Rocklea and approached the foreman and Gino enquire, " You gotta anya work fora coupla boys from Italia?"
The foreman asked if they had any driving experience in Australia. "Nah" says Gino.

"Okay", the foreman says, " I will give you a bit of a quiz and see how you answer"

The foreman then goes on, "It is 2 o'clock in the morning, all foggy. You are driving a brand new fully loaded B Double down Cunninhams Gap. You are fully loaded. The brakes fail, what are you going to do?"

"Ahh. thata isa easy one," replies Gino, "I am agunna waka Mario"

"What are you doing wasting time waking him for", the stunned foreman asks.

"Oh", says Gino, "The Mario has nevah seens bigga trucka smash>"