Mono= 1
1= the number of fish you're gonna catch on the trip, that's why he has to give away the spot instead of charging for it
Joel
Mono= 1
1= the number of fish you're gonna catch on the trip, that's why he has to give away the spot instead of charging for it
Joel
Fishing for the thrill, not for the kill
Hi, correction to closing date it is now 28th not the 30th!!
Multi entries are ok but please post them on this thread-not as a PM.
Thanks and good luck.
Way down south lives a guy called Mono,
Some even say he can sing like Bono
One day while out fishing
He was not watching what he was doing
A shark it did lunge and with jaws it did munch
And his foot disappeared below the water
Not an entry but an ok yarn just the same.
A few years ago I was working with DPI at the Fraser Comp measuring fish etc as part of a survey. As the boats would come into Waddy we'd ask if we could measure their catch.
After a few days everyone was helping us out great & would line up to be surveyed.
The camera crew came down with Waynie Poo on the mike asking questions & offering wise crack comments. This one boat pulls up & someone hung a (from memory) snapper over the side that had been bitten in half buy a shark.
The Poo was suitably impressed & them Mono, who happened to be on board throws his stump over the side of the boat & says something along the lines of "bloody shark,, I jumped in after the thing & look what it did to me".
Waynie Poo was quite shocked & speechless until everyone around started laughing. Pretty funny, but you had to be there.
Cheers,
fitzy..
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Mono, he is a freaken fishin wizz who lost his leg in a wee mishap on the Cape. Some have said that it was his pizzle & some say it was his leg, lost in the Cape to some whoppin big muddie, that got a piece of him. You wouldnt know it and I am hopin Mono wont show it but his nickname should be "stumpy"
'Mono', I'm told, will also answer to Mark
He acquired his 'tag'
While fishing for trag
When his leg was bit off by a shark
He may have lost his leg but look what he does to his customers......... see below)
How about.....
"When your on a hot Mackerel bite and you run out of bait you need to improvise. I was willing to make the sacrifice so my customers could keep fishing"
I once met a dog called "Table". The people that owned him found a kitten caught in their back fence by its leg. They took it the Vet, and he had to amputate the leg from the cat. So they kept the cat, and called her "Tripod". Anyway, they then got a dog, and as it had 4 legs, they had to think of something with 4 legs - Therefor the dog got called "Table".
Me thinks that this would be a similar situation for the now known "Mono".
Mono
This was years ago. We were fishing the Fraser Classic, driving up and down the beach looking for likely gutters. Nugget, the electronics Guru and better than average angler was playing with his new gadget, marking the gutters by pushing buttons on the thing that looked like a calculator.
“I use GPS to mark the gutters too”, said Steevo.
Nugget gave Steevo a quizzical stare. You see Steevo wasn’t known for his ability with electronics or even anything mechanical. In fact we all thought that the ring pull been can was invented for him – because he couldn’t use a can opener. So come to think of it, why had we let him do the driving?
“Yep”, said Steevo, “I mark gutters with GPS - Great Phucking Sticks - now give me a hand with this log over here.”
Steevo had spotted a pretty ordinary gutter but a huge piece of wood just out of the waves. Just to emphasise his claim he headed for the thing at high speed, stopping at the last minute - probably because he had forgotten which pedal was the brake.
“Crikey” said Nugget, “it’s not a log it’s a body with one leg missing”. Wrapped in seaweed and fishing line it was hard to tell if it was still alive.
Steevo cut the engine, but no one dared get out.
Out of curiosity Nugget wound down the window. Yep he had heard a moan. The log was alive.
Everyone was silent - for the first time in days. It was a welcome relief now I think about it.
Nugget turned around and asked the obvious question “what’ll we do? What do you say to a one legged wash-up on the side of the track?”
“Hop in”? cracked some smart ass in the back.
“Hey Mate!” no answer “Hey Mate!” even less of an answer.
“Looks like he has been out at sea for a while” said Nugget. He had the knack of saying the bloody obvious and making it sound interesting, even then.
“I can see why”, said the voice from the back “he’s been swimming around and around in circles like a one legged duck.”
“Jeeez” said Steevo “I can see what you use for birth control – your personality”
At that moment they all knew it was on. Usually it was late at night at the camp fire before the jokes and insults started flying but today’s battle of the (half) wits had begun early.
“Well he won’t answer to Mate so what do we call him?” said Nugget trying to deliver a scientific answer to the problem at hand.
“Maybe he floated down from PNG, where the cannibals got him. Then we could call him Stu ?” The voice was at it again.
“He’s been floating around for a while - maybe we had better call him Bob?”
“Maybe he was thrown in the water - we should call him Duncan?”
"He looks pretty ugly" "Well then we won't call him Art"
“I used to have a dog with no legs”
He was left to me by my uncle so I called him Will
“Didn’t matter, though whatever I called him - he wouldn’t come anyway”
(Those jokes scored no points so we ignored them)
“Steevo if you had hit the brakes any later he’d be under the car and we’d have to call him Jack”
“He looks a bit fat, but if we stood him up we’d have to call him Lean”
“Look if we took him to a restaurant we’d end up leaving him behind” “So I suppose we could call him Tip?”
“He looks like he’s thrown up a lot - maybe we should call him Chuck?”
“That’s a nasty cut. I suppose Nick wouldn’t do?
“Cut? He looks like he was struck by lightning - maybe we should call him Rod?
“Well does he look Japanese? Then we could call him Irene”
“I don’t care ... there is no more room in that pathetic little tent you brought, we'll have to leave him at the door and call him Matt”
What that wrapped around his stump? Looks like braid?
Nugget peered out the window “Nope its mono” and just then the body moaned.
“That’ll do ... he answered to Mono” said Nugget. “Now give me a hand to throw him in the back.”
“No way!” said Steevo “what am I gonna use to mark the gutter now?”
“yeah you’re right if we take him now a left him too close to the camp fire tonight while we go fishing we would have to call him Bernie” Nugget always had the last word.
Just how many puns can you fit in one post? I think gary has the record. But you forgot one good one. "maybe if we cut the other leg off we could call him Neal"
Joel
Fishing for the thrill, not for the kill
I reckon with 2 pegs he was too quick off the mark and had a savage side step so to slow him down a bit they docked one. What do ya think?
there was this young guy on the northern NSW border surfing one arvo the sets were closed so he decided to check out the local white pointers from the water while he was squinting and trying to see those lovely creatures his legs were dangling in the water below when low and behold he see's people all around him saying "WHITE POINTER WHITE POINTER" Mono being a hot blooded young man just grins
this is now why they call him mono cause of the one leg
jeff
Ouch Joel
You got me - I thought I had a full set but I missed such an obvious one. Next time we will have to team up.
Actually I just added another one Art.
Yes yes I know its over 50 words - but I was hoping to win the encouragement award. That's the charter where you get to fish from the jetty next to Mono's boat while he calls out the occasional encouraging word while sitting in a deck lounge sipping a rum.
Mono? - runs in the family mate... 8)
My dad/rellie once fought a lion in Africa, single-handed ,came out single-handed.
Me? ,well I had a few too many bundies on a Barra trip once, and tried to kick the crap out of a crocodile.
Edit: will post photo proof
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