Reply With QuoteI was planning to have a crack but sideshow cod's effort has me laughing too hard to think !
What a crack up. IMHO The Winner.
Because 'there is only one of you.'
I was planning to have a crack but sideshow cod's effort has me laughing too hard to think !
What a crack up. IMHO The Winner.
I saw Mark with an earring, and said to him "only two types of people wear earrings....poofters and pirates, and I dont see a parrot on your shoulder!!"...then he showed me his one leg and he said "I am a pirate #"
I was out fishing with "MONO" when all of a sudden i hooked a whoppen fish, up to the surface it came, "MONO" got the gaff and gaffed it, on deck a whoppen fish was to behold, and this fish was name MONOFISH because MONO gaffed it and i caught it. I caught the fish, mono gaffed it. This story is so stupid its funny.
I'm overwelmed with the responses!
But for a bit more incentive check out todays post in 'Reports' under 'Mackerel Madness-Bruns.
Only 11 days till closing.
Cheers
The name "mono" has #got nothing to do with his leg. #It's short for monopoly (ie exclusive control) which is what he's got over catching #northern NSW mackerels.Originally Posted by mono
I know [smiley=bulb2.gif]
Mono is short for monotony. #He got the name because he constantly grizzles about how monotonous and boring it is having to go out and catch mackerel every day.
To whom it may concern.
this is the true story of one...monarkarse veretta,born into a poor family of italian mullet fishermen.Monarkarse grew up in the tweed river region of northern nsw and as he was growing up he decided he wasnt going to follow his father guesepe into the mullet fishery, his father dis-owning him told him he would never ever get the boat he was promised as a youngster.So as time went on and started to carve his own niche in fishing for mackeral off the rocky headland of fingle head, by the age of 14 he was catching 3 a week and making 1 pound and 7 shillings,sick of his sisters rubbishing him for the small catch he started to build his own boat out of discarded floatsam any thing he could find he put in there,old thongs,foam,rejected bits of wood.The big day came and he was off...paddling at warp speed to get thru the bar which was running hard,but this boy was expiranced he had the thing sussed and what a day he, had 39 big fish what he didnt know was a big shark was following the boat, it was a hard day for the lad and he was letting his legs dangle over the sides of the hull when whamo, up it came and bit off his foot.He put a plastic bag over it and paddled home as fast as he could,big sister conchita peddled him to the clinic on dads 28inch marlvern star, un-able to fix the damage the doctor sent him home to recover with a dressing,over time it healed and soon the local kids were teaseing him,calling him eileen and things like that.Pissed off with life he joined the harry crishnas only to be told what to do all the time,sick of chanting in the city (he couldnt stand city life) he returned home after saving almost 300 pounds.He brought a blisscraft oceaneer 16 and it was a beauty making 1000 pounds a year doing what he loved...fishing.Thirty years on hes now known as mono, one of the best mackeral fishermen the tweed reigon has seen. Oh yes his dad has completly forgiven him.
this has been a true story from one he dosnt remember..........his illagitimate son but that my friends is another story.
back in your early years u were watching a building being blown up and because u stood to close your leg got blown off by a piece of flying shraptnael (spelling).
when u were a child you were out on the road playing football with your old man and u ran along the gutter and yuor leg got stuck in the metal. they had to cut off the leg
Bring on the Marlin!!!
Your dumped mistress decided you no longer need the extra leg. Fortunatly, due to the exceptional size of all 3 legs, the walking leg was confused with the intended target..."The Loving Leg" & was duely amputated.
This at least still enables you to hop & fornicate, as opposed to what she had in mind during the viscious, though well deserved attack. [smiley=gossip.gif]
It is still a mystery why police were never called, tho it is rumored the truth needed to be protected.
Completely off the subject of how Mono got his name, there was a time when Mono, Nugget and Steve Ausfish were fishing with Paris Hilton. Nugget landed the first fish and Paris was quite excited and congratulated him. Nugget said "Yeah, not a bad effort considering my disability!" "What is you disability?" asked Paris. "I have a wooden arm," said Nugget. Paris needed proof, so Nugget took her into the galley and unscrewed his arm. Next up Mono got a ripper Mackeral and Paris was again quite excited and congratulated him. Mono said "Yeah, not a bad effort considering my disability!" "What is you disability?" asked Paris. "I have a wooden leg," said Mono. Paris needed proof, so Mono took her into the galley and unscrewed his leg. Next Steve Ausfish got a huge Marlin and Paris was again quite excited and congratulated him. Steve said "Yeah, not a bad effort considering my disability!" "What is you disability?" asked Paris. "I have a wooden heart," said Steve. Again Paris wanted proof and Steve went into the galley with her. 15 minutes later Mono and Nugget were a bit concerned about what had happened, so they went into the galley, and sure enough, there was Steve screwing his heart out!!
Dale
I fish because the little voices in my head tell me to
ROFLMAO!!!
Few people know that MONO, short for MONOTGOTTA, is a tribal elder of the GIVAMEMYJIMBEAMA tribe of the Brunz area. As a young buck he would fish the traditional way (Spear) for the big crocodiles ( Flatties) of the Brunz river, with another tribemember NUGGETOUTAHEAR.The dugout he had at this time was a bit risky tackling the Brunz bar, althought the one he has today is a bit better. Anyway one morning Monogotta spied a huge Croc and told Nuggetaoutahear to spear it. Now Nuggetoutahear was pretty hopeless with spearfishing ( later on he would learn to use a rod and reel and improve his fishing somewhat) and his throw missed the Croc and hit Monogotta in the leg.The spear had smashed the bone and almost cut the leg through.Monogotta in anger and pain grabbed the leg and in one movement ripped it off and hit Nuggetaouahear over the head causing a huge wound.(That wound is still there today and no hair will grow around it , hence why Nuggetoutahear always wears that hat).The leg was last seen floating out with the tide towards the Brunz bar.
Monogotta managed to tie vine around the leg and they both headed back to the tribal camp, which is where Monogotta's house is today.
Legend has it that the leg floated out past the bar and proved to be popular berley for big Barries and even today they still turn up in February/March looking for more
legs.(Hint for Mono sorry Monogotta -Use the other leg and you will get the bigun.)
It is also legend that at the campsite many feasts and corroboree's have happened and also virgins were sacrificed but that is another story.
Historian/Collector of Old Sidecast Fishing Reels
my vote is for aussiebasser.
mono,I will be down your way next week maybe see u then
cheers
Mono would like you to believe that a big shark or mackeral took his leg off ,but this simply is not true. The real storey is years ago in the Bay Mark got on the jim beams pretty heavy one night and decided to go to the nothern hotel. With a very thick pair of jim beam goggles on Mark pulled a chick that he thought looked like shania twain. Problem was, next morning when he woke up next to her in bed and the jim beam goggles had worn off , he realised that she was as uggly as a bag full off ulcers. She was that uggly she made Camilla Parker Bowels look good. With her laying over the top of marks leg ,the only thing he could do to get out of there without waking her up was to chew his leg off. Hence the name mono
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