Mate I don't cross the bar but fish up at the mouth there in my boat quite a bit lately. I've seen small tinnies etc crossing it recently (my neighbour has a small tiller steer tinnie that he goes out in when conditions are right).
I recently spoke to someone who saw one of the bar mishaps (and regularly crosses it himself) and he attributed it to inexperienced boaties trying to cross on a big run out. I guess thats what it all comes down to though isn't it.
Why not just go for a drive to the mouth on a few different tides and watch everyone at work? I'm happy to send a few recent photos if you like.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help