It had been about 8 weeks since the boys and I from work had been out... so we called our regular charter company - only to find they were fully booked due to lead up to Indy Carnival.
Tried a couple of others that people had referred me to - but again, all booked up.
Then a mate had some "luck" (retrospectively - a misfortune) of finding a charter that could take the 8 of us.
Now we normally pay $170 each and get very well looked after on Seaprobe.... and they boys use their expert knowledge and work bloody hard to put us onto some fish...
This charter was $200.00 - but promised "an aussie BBQ Breakfast and a gourmet BBQ Lunch"...
I should have known to PULL OUT when we headed down the end of the peer at Marina Mirage to a massive boat - with "WHALE WATCHING" across the flybridge. The boat was massive - and so was the crowd lined up to get on!
SO finally - all 25 or so of us pile on and the boat is fired up. It was more like grandstand seating at the footy than a charter boat.
I note the sign on the fridge had been turned into some type of home made vending machine that said "ALL DRINKS ARE $2 - correct change only" - which kind of confused me for a $200.00 a head "all inclusive fishing charter".... I thought then maybe it had beer in it... and assured myself non - alcoholic beverages would be included.
Off we go out through the seaway, and just as I could no longer see the people putting worms on their hooks on the sand pumping jetty, (OK I exagerate - maybe 200m "off shore" )- we start doing figure of 8's and told we were going to have a try...
I started laughing thinking it was a joke....... and it was...
They brought out some bait jigs, and said we would catch some livies... Now there were only 6 bait jig rigs for no less than 25 people, so we were told "to all have a turn and share the jigs around.....
Content to let the few younger fella's to have fun with it we decided to join the line up for the BBQ breaky. I was granted a 1/2 slice of the fattiest bacon I have ever seen, "warmed" to a soggy mess, on a piece of bread, with a bit of egg white in a bit of bread.... We donated ours to the empty burly pot and most followed suit.
We stuffed around for an hour - but I was at least comforted by the fact we had 7 hours left, and a decent number of livies....
We headed out to the 32's and I was excited at the thought of sending one of them livies down....
We pull up... and we are told they cant get the drift right, so we all have to fish the port side and stern of the vessel - ALL 25. Now I am not exagerating when I say it was bloody shoulder to shoulder....
After I had been involved in dozens of tangles, I started loosing patience... as they two deckies start fishing.....
My group and I ask if we can head up to the bow which was a sizeable area - and after some persuading - we were set up on the front deck to ourselves while the other 15 or so struggle with continued tangles...
2 hours later, and not a fish in the boat... The pilchard halfs were so sloppy you couldnt get them to stay on the hooks and the "squid" like leather - it was dried out so much, we were told to soak it in water to "bring it back"...
I asked again about the livies - and was told we were "keeping them for the king fish out at the 50's"...
So finally with no legal fish on board and 11am - we start the engines to head to the 50's. The conditions were amazing - the sea was glassed out, the wind was just detectable, and the sun was shining.
After about 5 mins of slow going (were sat on the bow still) I signal to the deckie to ask why we were going so slow - as we would be taking hours to get to the 50's. He tells me we are trolling some skirts for marlin...
I asked how many marlin they had caught this season... "None" was the reply...
So a boat load of 25 bored, pissed off, cramped people sat while they trolled 2 skirts at a painfully slow pace for another hour to the 50's.
Its now close to 1pm - and we arrive at the 50's. We are told we will be having a bucket of livies brought up the front for us... so I start to get excited....
THEN.... .... *breathe*
The livies come up - DEAD! We had wasted an hour in the morning catching "livies" - only for the twits to fillet them and give them to us to use as you would a pilchard half!
We were like WTF? We were told "There are too many people on board to use live bait as they will swim around and create even more tangles, so at least we have fresh bait now"..
200/head charter! "A bonus" we get to catch bait thats fresh enough to use - on our PAID time??? What a crock of shite! We were so annoyed - and we could even hear sniggers from down the back.....
Then we were yelled out to from the aft deck that "lunch was served".... Its now 1pm. STILL NO KEEPER FISH!!!!!
The gourmet BBQ lunch was the only thing going to save this thing.... and for $200/head and the word gourmet had us thinking prawns on the BBQ, or at least some decent meat.....
What was it?
Another slice of bread... this time with with al la potato salad - you could either spread on your bread or cop the spooned dollop onto your single, single ply napkin.... then there was a nugget (and I use nugget to imply something the size that would come out of a foxterrier's butt) of steak.... and then before you could so no thanks - the whole lot was drowned in tomato sauce!
That was thier gourmet lunch... and When we were as thirsty and dry as a chip - but said we didnt bring the 2 x $1 coins to operate the "fridge" as we thought drinks would have been included as they are on most charters, we were told we would have to wait for them to empty the machine of coins, and then they could cash our notes.
Its now almost 2 and the first fish comes about. A snapper... Now if it was 35cm there must have been 5 kg of traction on his tale when they measured it... as when I seen it post docking - it was more like low 30's.
At some stage another two fish came on board....... and we finished the charter with 3 fish between 25 people.
We did'nt hang around for our share of the scales......
Just goes to show - more expensive is certainly not better...
And if your ever invited on a $200.00/head charter out of southport (Marina Mirage) that promises a gourmet lunch - run for the hills.
Funny report though!
