strange how the person who started this thread has NOT responded to any of the reply's that have been posted.
so here's a quick reply to your question.
fishermen and bullshit go hand in hand...lol
GET USE TO IT.
pickers
(some just use it a bit more)
strange how the person who started this thread has NOT responded to any of the reply's that have been posted.
so here's a quick reply to your question.
fishermen and bullshit go hand in hand...lol
GET USE TO IT.
pickers
(some just use it a bit more)
Yes, I think everyone on the site is bloody sick of that one already. It doesnt mean much when you see it from the same member in every single report. Come on mate.... think of something constructive to say.Originally Posted by gaintsquid
Oh yeh, Nice work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just cruised into this fantastic thread with some of the best dissertations of bull shit i have ever encountered - no bull shit!
wow the command of grammar and language is alive and well. english teachers the world over rejoice!
sending the 'BS Depth Guage' so cleverly written by slyman on to my mates to enjoy today. might print up a copy and post it in the boat with a red needle to show which level we are at
that said, and in response to the original phrase, do we talk to much bull shit, well NO actually. my sister has a very large black angus bull called elvis, and i can honestly say i have never been known to talk to his bovine excreta. i may have stepped in it, but no never talked to it.
so there you go depth guage, hope that answers your question
and to the responders, thanks for a great laugh. gold stars all around.
blackjenny
Blackjack
The body is evil .... it must be punished.
Hey Guys and gals,
Doesn't matter whether its fishing workin or playing. READ ON
Memo to All Employees/Fisherfolk
Where ever you see 'work' just replace it with fisherman/skippers!!!!
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees (more fish), it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in the course, please see your supervisor/skipper.
You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially
skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S. H. I. T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T. If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T. to 5 people who need S.H.I.T. in their life, just not the same person who
sent you this S.H.I.T. They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. (D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.).
Quoteefinitely a troll. I think the only fishing he does is here on ausfish.....end Quote"
You forgot the swimming pool gecko.
ahaha
this thread is such a crack up. I love the BS scale, brilliant work that.
cheers
Owen
Now that the "Tour de France" has finished for the year, I find the time to address the second part of our correspondent's comment or question, whichever it may be. That is, "Do half of you really fish".
Once again, the enquirer’s choice to deploy no punctuation raises doubts as to whether the enquirer is asking a question about whether a prescribed fraction of members on this site fish or whether he is issuing some sort of instruction.
However, let us for the moment suppose that he is asking a question about whether a certain fraction of the illustrious membership of this auspicious website actually do participate in the genteel and noble art of angling.
The use of the word “fraction” here might be highly relevant to the implied tone of the question – well, perhaps, “pseudo-question” in the absence of any punctuation.
Indeed, I suspect that most of us take some sort of a perspective in relation to the question, and that includes your humble correspondent in the first person and indeed for that matter in the present tense, for, after all, the question, if it truly be an question, takes a form as not to ask if whether we have ever fished in the past but whether we are currently fishing, viz, “Do half of you really fish?”
I reiterate that the question specifies a fraction and in so doing has, it may be interpreted - notwithstanding that it is a subjective sensation and perhaps to be fair, may be not truly representative of the true intent of the enquirer, albeit we don’t know that because of the paucity of the message – as to imply a communication that is not only indicative of a specified quantified fraction but also implicative of a fractious tone of enquiry.
So by combining the fractional quantification with the fractious qualification, we might be encouraged to seek deeper meaning in the communication by our enquirer.
Indeed deeper meanings about personalities are often readable into the overt actions of ourselves, and often quite surprisingly so.
People who frequent these pages but who are also students of the classical creators of the psychological sciences, Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, et al, will understand that often we have an alter ego which performs in a way counter-intuitively to that which we, ourselves, profess.
Thus if, say, we were to reveal that the worst sort of human foible that we despise the most in our heart of hearts is, say, arrogance, it may well mean that we ourselves are inherently, and noticeably to all around us, in possession of an extremely arrogant nature ourselves.
In extrapolating this concept to the text under examination here, one for which it has already been established that indicates a fractional quantification, viz a half, and a fractious qualification suggesting that the author is irritable or cranky, and having a peevish nature – even perhaps implying an epigrammatic sentiment, ie terse and ingenuous in expression, maybe suggesting that the author is, if not at his wit’s end in writing the communication but rather, by virtue of the fractional quantification in the original ‘question’, 50% along the way towards that end.
That is, the analysis clearly shows - and to not put it in so many words following the conjugation of the fractional quantification and the fractious qualification - that the enquirer is a half-wit!
…And how could that not be so because of the matter of tense? The ‘question’ is clearly stated in the present tense, to wit “do half of you fish?”
It is not, “ have half of you really fished?”
Nor is it “are half of you going to really fish?”
But it is clearly in the present tense, “Do half of you really fish?
To which the answer is cleary and undeniably, “Not right now, you patently fully qualified half-wit. We are sitting at our computers reading this meandering waffle!”
Game ,set, and match!
p.s I apologise to all readers for the brevity of this analysis, notwithstanding its tautological nature. Had the correspondent communicated with a little more generosity of language and grammar, I might have been able to examine the questions in a lot greater detail and with considerably more thought.
.
It has come to the attention of the Ausfish brethren Charleville, that your postings on this very thread, are filled with a large degree of formality and cleverness, and are, simply put, brilliant. Rarely does one encounter such a response posed to a couple of seemingly random phrases:
"do we talk to much bull shit
Do half off you really fish"
I do not wish to embarrass you dear sir, but I wish to nominate you for the newly established position of "Chief Analyst of Postings and Bearer of the Regal Rod and Reel", and all the rights and privileges due to such holder of that most esteemed position.
(A noisy clamouring to become Seconder heard from afar)
I feel reasonably confident to thank depth guage on behalf of said honourable Ausfish members, for taking the time to begin a thread that provided such rich source and scope for due expansion and eloquence of expression. (Clapping all around)
Besides the informative postings of other respected members, we would not have had Slyman's BS Depth Guage, rumoured by some to become compulsory study for prospective inductees to the Forum, and (you heard it here first) possibly a "Sticky". I cannot verify the veracity of other gossip indicating Ausfish may make the guide into a "Sticker" one can purchase to mount in said boats (if, in fact, any such vessels are owned by members), for the express purpose of checking the depth to which one may have found said selves, or their guests. I propose also that said sticker would be quite useful near watering holes and "places of low light e.g. BBQ's at sundown" where danger lingers in the form of Bull Shit Sharks aka "Bullies".
On a personal note, I am relieved to read that PinHead manages to take ALL of himself fishing and not said fraction (1/2).
I am also glad to see mangomick has come to terms with his halves, that Timiboy has found said forum to be "one of the most effective places for learning and abuse" he has ever come across, that Flippher CAN call herself a "fisherperson" for catching 3 fish and that here in Oz we don't have that problem of the "pet wether which could be a distraction and take ones mind off fishing" like they have in NZ, so tangentially alluded to by Chimo.
Quite frankly, the benefits generated by the original proposition, so carefully placed by depth guage, have had far reaching benefits in terms of critical evaluation of text, self esteem, psychological well-being, social development, business opportunity, mathematical understanding ... well the list is just endless.
In the words of some famous person or other (who I cannot bring to mind) "You can bullshit some of the people some of the time, but you cannot bullshit all of the people all of the time."
That said, I really should try to go back to sleep...
Blackjenny
P.S. Please forgive my meanderings and let the forum cont i n u e zzzzzzzz
The body is evil .... it must be punished.
The sun has risen on a new day my friends. Reading Charlies response, I can feel myself being lifted gently into the air in a wonderful swirling dance of the written word. For someone like myself who has to read the menu board at Maccas twice to get the gist of what they're saying, I can actually feel myself getting smarter in the brain bucket and ready to tackle any BS coming my way.
I've tucked my copy of Slymans BS depth gauge into my back pocket and feel ready for anything.
And I thought it was going to be a dull day.
I am sorry but I am just 'gobblefrocked' by this whole thread.
He he he he I'm just picturing the little fella in your avatar saying the word
"Gobblefrocked"
Thanks. Having been listening to a few works of Charles Dickens in audio book form lately I am inspired by the sentiments constantly expressed by Uriah Heep in David Copperfield to say, "Thank you, kind sir - but that I am too 'umble to receive such a great award."
Ah - if only one could write like Charlie Dickens.Never read his stuff before until the past few weeks because my education from trade apprenticeship to uni degree level was all of a technical nature not literary. Now I cannot get enough of his writings. He had an awesome command of the English language, grammar and composition - and surprisingly so since he started work in modest circumstances at age 12 in a boot blacking factory.
If only more of us could write like Charlie Dickens.
Instead we get...
"do we talk to much bull shit
Do half off you really fish"
Sigh!
.
I love it!!!
.
I have to say that I'm a huge fan of both....Dickens is an absolute pleasure to read...but the goings on of everyday people entertain me to no end.If only more of us could write like Charlie Dickens.
Instead we get...
"do we talk to much bull shit
Do half off you really fish"
Sigh!
Those two questions are just "bassackwards" personified. Love it.
I feel reasonably confident to thank depth guage on behalf of said honourable Ausfish members, for taking the time to begin a thread that provided such rich source and scope for due expansion and eloquence of expression. (Clapping all around)
Does this mean that Depth Guage cause Charlie to get the clap????
Does this mean that Depth Guage cause Charlie to get the clap????
Nah - I am retired - I am already clapped out.
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