I couldn't help but laugh
81870338_1455046157992286_7829044718485897216_n.jpg
I couldn't help but laugh
81870338_1455046157992286_7829044718485897216_n.jpg
That’s a pisserOriginally Posted by RayLamp
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A priest, rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The barmaid asks the rabbit "What'll ya have?"
The rabbit says " I dunno, I'm only here because of autocorrect!"
Attachment 122019
Chairman Dan of the People's Republic of Victoria.
This object was pulled up from the deep the other day, anyone know its owner?Attachment 122028
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yeahs thats mobys d***
U got the wife on the boat and u pull up that LOL she would be speachless haha
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Ahh i get it haha "the wife says go fix the leaking tap" (the boat)
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This is one I stole from the Gladstone Fishing Network f/b page.
Attachment 122195
Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, ‘Titanic’ and ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
Titanic: Cost – $29.99
Clinton : Cost – $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let’s not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of Seamen.
Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let’s not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary – basically the same thing
Gotta say monica was quiet an upgrade to hillery, she must have had billy boys heart pumping thats for sure
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Gotta say that this one is a true story.
Not my punchline but I was happy to use it.
Was on a bus in Los Angeles in the tourist zone sitting behind two men who turned out to be an Englishman and a New Zealander.
Kiwi (South Pacific Pom) asked Englishman if he knew who won the All Blacks vs Aussie rugby union test.
Englishman (real Pom) replied " New Zealand of course".
Real Pom to Kiwi (South Pacific Pom) " where are u from"?
Kiwi " New Zealand".
Pom "Of course. For a moment there I thought you were one of those horrible " OORSTRALIANS".
Kiwi " I don't like them either".
I was a bit 'pissed off" by this stage probably mainly 'cos we lost the RU Test but with these 2 guys also by the comments.
I sat there trying to work out what to say (if anything).
Bus pulled up for our stop before the 2 guys stop.
As I stood up to exit the bus, I leaned over and the conversation went along these lines:
Me. "I'm one of those "horrible Ooorstalians" and I accept that its my fault for not assuring that I would not be seated near a Pom and a South Pacific Pom".
Embarrassed looks from both and a muttered "sorry" from both.
Me " Don't apologise. Both of you are entitled to an opinion. As I am".
Me (to the Pom) " I suppose that you've heard the oft-quoted statement that the sun NEVER sets on the British Empire? Do you know why?"
Pom " Yes. Its because the British Empire extends all the way around the world and that somewhere the sun is always shining on a part of the british empire".
Me " Nope. Nothing to do with that. The real reason is that not even God would trust a Pommie in the dark".
Me to the kiwi " You should emigrate to England. You'd fit in well there".
Then I got off before these guys had worked out if they were angry or not.
Wish I had thought of that comeback but it it belonged to somebody else.
Batman the sly devil Attachment 122318
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Haha victorians Attachment 122319
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