Prince Williams heir has fallen out!
Prince Williams heir has fallen out!
Please forgive me if I've put this one up before. (I blame old age.)
Two mates were advised by their doctors that they needed the dreaded 'per rectum' examination to check their prostate, but kept putting it off.
Eventually one summoned up the guts to have it done. His mate rushed round the next day to see how it went.
Mate 1: 'It wasn't anywhere near as bad as we thought. He got me drop my daks and bend over, then he put his right hand on my right shoulder and shoved his left finger up my...
No! No! he put his left hand on my left shoulder and shoved his right finger...
No...........
The bugger!! He had both hands on both shoulders!!
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money
from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank
you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to
pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week. 'The Member of Parliament
was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it
S&S34
Spirited 230
Guy goes into a bar where there's a robot barman.
The Robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "A beer."
The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says,"168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, . . . But he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar.
The robot barman says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "A beer."
Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about car races, football, cricket and things of that nature.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar.
The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "A beer," and the robot brings him his beer.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"
The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "SO, . . . You people still happy with Kevin?
What's the difference between a RUDD and a RUDDER? ....
A RUDDER can turn a boat around!!!''
LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm,
and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.
' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate' so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.'
The teacher sat down and cried
So if Prince William is 100 percent Royal and his wife Kate is 0 percent Royal, does that make their son a half blood Prince?
I thought the Redneck 300 was a race but it's about someone you know.
Already spat my coffee in laughter.
http://www.lilligren.com/Redneck/300...ns_redneck.htm
At last we have the answer.
Labor Surplus -- AT LAST !!
Click on below to find the Labor surplus :
Labor Reveals Surplus Plan
Maybe this should be in Politics
My Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth.
I did.
Fried chicken is my favorite animal.I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the Principal's Office.I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken.
She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the Principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now?
What could go wrong.......................
Why women should avoid a girls night out after they are married...
(If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of
humor.)
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told
my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the
door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed
three times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another
nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up
with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible
conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... three cuckoos plus
nine cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos--MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him
'MIDNIGHT.' He didn't seem ticked off in the least. Whew, I
got away with that one!
Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he
said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times,
then said, 'oh, shit.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat,
cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the coffee table and farted.
86% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
standing on a bridge
watching water rushing under-
neath it must have been much harder
when there was no bridge just water
how Canada got it's name:
back when Canada's founding fathers were drafting their constitution and what not, there arose quite an argument as to what the name the fledgling nation.
eventually a compromise was reached and it was determined the chairman would draw letters of the alphabet out of a hat, to be recorded by the secretary. thus, the country would have a neutral, non-controversial name.
he began...
"C", eh
"N", eh
"D", eh
and the rest is history.
standing on a bridge
watching water rushing under-
neath it must have been much harder
when there was no bridge just water
there are 3 types of lies:
lies, damned lies, and statistics
interesting-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lies,_d...and_statistics
standing on a bridge
watching water rushing under-
neath it must have been much harder
when there was no bridge just water
Six Basic Rules For Good Health
1.F***ing once a week is good for your health, every day is even better.
2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing don't eat too much ... Go for more liquids.
5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level !!!SO ... REMEMBER ...
6. FISHING is good for your health and soul ... And may the Good Lord cleanse your Filthy Mind !!!
Dad reckons fishing is 10% brains and 95% muscle, the rest is just good luck.
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