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WORLD'S EASIEST IQ TEST (QUIZ)!
(Passing requires only 3 correct answers out of 10!)
Time yourself
QUESTIONS START HERE:
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last ?
2) Which country makes Panama hats ?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut ?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution ?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of ?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal ?
7) What was King George VI's first name ?
8) What color is a purple finch ?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from ?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane ?
Remember, you need only 3 correct answers to pass.
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2) Ecuador.
3) From sheep and horses.
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5) Squirrel fir.
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria
that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8) Distinctively crimson.
9) New Zealand.
10) Orange
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Ten (10) Things I know about you.
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does ittoo.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
A man goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare – the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare – the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare – the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified.
The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn’t eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.
Upon walking in his front door at the end of the day, he finds his wife. “Good God, Dear,” he proclaims, “I’ve just had the worst day of my entire life!”
She responds, “You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning.”
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From Thomas Cook Holidays listing some of their UK clientele’s genuine complaints.
1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store in Indian villages does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."
3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
7. "The beach was too sandy."
8. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
10. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
12. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
13. "There was no egg-slicer in the apartment."
14. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."
15. "The roads were uneven.."
16. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home."
17. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
18. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers -- will we be OK staying there?"
19. "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad."
20. "We had to queue outside with no air-conditioning."
21. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
22. "I was bitten by a mosquito. No-one said they could bite."
23. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room.
We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
They walk amongst us and they inadvertently breed!!!
Be afraid! Be very afraid!
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Thought of Finga when I read this.
It is probably only Australians who can write poetry about Australian icons that can be understood by Australians.
If you have a good memory, lived on a farm or are used to camping you will know what I mean when you read today’s Daily Good One.
Just scroll down .....
A bit of culture - ---
Goodbye Granddad
Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime,
He never had a day off crook - gone before his time,
We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat,
A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet,
The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout,
The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out.
There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace,
Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space,
No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt,
When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,
'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath,
'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.'
'This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil,
And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,
So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials,
They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.
Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,
And I couldn't see a hole like that go to flamin' waste,
So I moved the dunny over it - real smart move I thought,
I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'.
The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight,
But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night,
Now I reckon what has happened - poor Granddad didn't know,
The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go.
And you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash--
Well, he always used to hold his breath
Until he heard the splash!!
Went to a disco the other night,they played the twist so i twisted,they played jump so i jumped,then they played come on elleen then i was kicked out
What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend, My wife and I, listened to
the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the
things that are important to each other.."
He then addressed the men,
'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?'
I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered,
White Wings Self-Raising Flour, isn’t it?
And thus began my life of celibacy.........:-)
Went into the electoral office today to put my name down as a candidate for the federal election, but I failed on question 8 - Are You circumcised ? when I answered Yes , I was told that I was not eligable as you have to be a complete prick to become a politician
Dad reckons fishing is 10% brains and 95% muscle, the rest is just good luck.
Q: What do you call a chicken staring at a piece of lettuce?
A: A chicken sees a salad!
What do you call a man with a rabbit in his mouth?.....Warren!
'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior .. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer beforeI devoted my life to Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'
'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.
'ButI didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'
'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.
'Nope,that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as
the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
'You missed the f*$!*n' putt, didn't you?
Hot and Cold
After an examination, the doctor said to his patient: 'You appearto be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like toask me about?'
'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After my wife and Ihave sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her thesecond time, I'm usually hot and sweaty."
When the doctor examined his wife a short time later he said,'Everything appears to be fine. Are there any medical concerns that youwould like to discuss with me?' The lady replied that she had noquestions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her: 'Your husband mentioned an unusualproblem. He claimed that he was usually cold and chilly after having sexwith you the first time; and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you have any idea about why?'
"Oh, that crazy oldcoot'' she replied. "That's because the first time is usuallyin June or July, and the second time is in February.
A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign says:
'SEX FROGS'
Only $20 each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise ... . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions . please call the pet store.'
So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'
The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:
'LISTEN TO ME!!
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE ... MORE... TIME!!!'
What could go wrong.......................
Hi All,
Warning about Bid-or-Buy
Be careful what you buy on Bid-or-Buy.
If you buy stuff online, check out the seller carefully.
A friend, Barry, has just spent $ 995.00 plus tax on a ##### enlarger.
Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
The only instructions said, "Do not use in direct sunlight."
Dad reckons fishing is 10% brains and 95% muscle, the rest is just good luck.
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