Su Wong marries Lee Wong.
The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian,
white baby boy.
"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents.
"Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says,
"Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...
Sum Ting Wong
After 20 years of marriage a wife finally makes a stand with her husband on the eve of their anniversary.
"We've been married 20 years and you have been a lazy good for nothing all that time. So there better be something in the driveway tomorrow which goes from 0 to 200 in less than 5 seconds!"
The next day the wife goes out and finds a small package on the drive. She opens it up and inside is a brand new set of bathroom scales.
Funeral arrangements for the husband are currently underway.
You say fish, I say yes please.
Q. How do you get 50 fat cows into a room?
A. Put a bingo sign out the front!
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the tables.
A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000.00 on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed.
"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and
her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men
A husband and wife are away on holidays on the North East corner of Peel Island.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the area, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and begins reading her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat and he pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," she replies, without batting an eye. "But I haven't even touched you," the game warden sputters.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." The warden was silent for a moment. "Have a nice day ma'am", he said, and rowed away quickly.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
http://www.fishraider.com.au/Invisio...e=post&id=7223
read the Q&A at the end
The Bible Belt Preacher
Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the 'Bible Belt,' there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation.
One morning, after a particularly moving sermon, he announced, "Friends I have been hearing very nasty rumours!" The crowd fell into an expectant silence.
The Minister continued, "One of you, here among us, has been reporting that I am a member of the dreaded 'Klu Klux Klan.' This, of course, is not true! I am asking that the guilty party confess and apologise now - right here - before my flock of loyal followers."
A young woman quickly stood up blushing and trembling and pled, "Preacher, please, I don't know how this all came to be. I just mentioned to one of my close friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
I love the sound of reels screaming in the morning
So
If shark fishing is fishing for sharks, why isn't fly fishing fishing for flies??
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in Collingwood and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Collingwood fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Collingwood fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Collingwood fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Collingwood fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I'm a Richmond fan, and proud of it," Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears.
"Mary, why are you a Richmond fan?" My mum and dad were born and raised in Richmond, so my mum is a Richmond fan and my dad is a Richmond fan, and so I'm a Richmond fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Richmond fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute, your dad was a drug addict, and your brother was a car thief, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary said, "I'd be a Collingwood fan."
The New Volvo speedo
KFC [kentucky fried chicken] I cant beleive they can advertise this, its indecant ,immoral, its nearly a4 letter word. so after a few drinks we decided to come up with a new slogan,---------KFC the only thing missing is U
Not the best pick joint. LOL......
Apparently Japan is the only country in the world where KFC does not use the slogan "Finger Lickin Good"... The reason being that the direct translation into Japanese is "Eat Your Hands Off"!Originally Posted by Always_offshore
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex."
Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.
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