Reply With QuoteOriginally Posted by lucee81
He got the first question wrong. Napoleon did not die in battle. It was obviously a trick question.
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He got the first question wrong. Napoleon did not die in battle. It was obviously a trick question.
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That would be true it was of stomach cancer or so its believed cant remember the date a google search will tell you. somethime in the 1820's
but the student did get the rest right
....or possibly deliberate arsenic poisoning. Anyway, enough of the serious stuff....
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A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on the highway.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
An Irish woman "of a certain age", visited her doctor to ask his help in reviving her husband's sex drive.
"What about trying Viagra?", asks the doctor.
"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."
"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee". "He won't even taste it". "Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
A week later she rang up the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! 'Twas horrid. Just terrible, Doctor."
"Really? What happened?", asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, didn't I? The effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!"
"Why so terrible?", asked the doctor." Do you mean you didn't enjoy it?"
"Of course I did doctor! Indeed, 'twas the best sex I've had in25 years. But I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"
What could go wrong.......................
Can anyone who understands engineering drawings or has, at least to some extent, kept abreast of tech drawing since they were at school , please tell me what this drawing is about, please?
Click for large view - Uploaded with Skitch
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Luv it!!! too short! Hows this now?
What could go wrong.......................
I met a girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us
and she immediately dropped to her knees, and laid on the grass at my feet.
As we lay there making love, I thought
"These Taser guns are well worth the
money."
Tony blair, george bush and john howard all die and go to hell.when they arrive they see a red phone which the devil tells them allows them to call earth at a cost.blair calls england for 15mins.the devil says that cost $1million.he writes a cheque.bush calls the usa for an hour and it cost $4million so he writes a cheque.howard calls australia for 4hours and the devil says that will be 20cents.bush and blair crack the shits and ask why he only gets charged 20cents.the devil says since julia gillard took over, the whole of australia has gone to hell so it now only a local call.
A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in."
Friendship between women....
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day she told her husband she stayed at her friends house.
the husband called 10 of her best friends they knew nothing about it.
Friendship between men....
A man didnt come home one night
the next day he told his wife he stayed at his friends house
the wife called 10 of his best friends
eight of them confirmed he had stayed over, and two claimed he was still there....
YOU HAVE TO LOVE A GOOD NURSE.
A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, he kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.
Worried that it might need a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive plaster, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all. Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon, from the nurse in the car you pulled over for speeding last week."
Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?
Cheers, Doug.
Love to use Preditek or Kingfisher lures or Viva Lures when I am out fishing.
Paddy says to Mick: "I found this pen. Is it your's?"
Mick says: "Don't know, give it here." He tries it and says "Yes, it's mine!"
"How did you know", asks Paddy.
"That's my handwriting, says Mick.
was on a plane the other day and you would NOT believe it.
There were two guys in the row in front of me bitching about the pilot being a woman.
"Jeez, I thought, you sexist, misoginist pigs - it's not like she'll have to reverse the thing is it!"
A man is sitting at the dining room table waiting for his wife to cook his breakfast.
All of a sudden he hears a loud thud and on going in to the kitchen to investigate he finds that his wife has dropped dead in the kitchen.
He goes into a complete panic not knowing what to do - then suddenly remembers that Coffee Club do an all-day breakfast for $8.95.
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