I thought the same thing, but, 'never let the truth get in the way of a good story'.
I thought the same thing, but, 'never let the truth get in the way of a good story'.
Juror #2 here.Originally Posted by Chimo
The answer is: Being a 63 year old professor that is married to a 35 year old wife, who has a 25 year old lover that received an "A" on his exam from that same professor, when the student should really have failed. The situation can be described as " Legal, but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal."
So I agree, but the way that Sihle framed the answer could have been rephrased to better address the format of the question.
A Point of Clarification for the jury.
What is a question?
Definition Here are two senses of question:
Examples (English) Here are some examples of sentences, ordered to illustrate the two senses of question above:
- A question is an illocutionary act that has a directive illocutionary point of attempting to get the addressee to supply information.
- A question is a sentence type that has a form (labeled interrogative) typically used to express an illocutionary act with the directive illocutionary point mentioned above. It may be actually so used (as a direct illocution), or used rhetorically.
Kinds Here are some kinds of questions:
- An illocutionary act that attempts to obtain information from an addressee
- Tell me your name.
- Give me your address.
- Sentences with inverted word order or interrogative pro-forms
- What’s your name?
- Did you sleep well?
Generic A question is a kind of Sources Crystal 1985</I> 254
- What is an alternative question?
- What is a tag question?
- What is a wh-question?
- What is a yes-no question?
Hartmann and Stork 1972</I> 190
Larson 1984</I> 234
Mish 1991</I> 966
Context for this page:
- Concept module: question
- In overview module: Glossary (Linguistics): Q
- In modular book: Glossary of linguistic terms, by Eugene E. Loos (general editor), Susan Anderson (editor), Dwight H., Day, Jr. (editor), Paul C. Jordan (editor), and J. Douglas Wingate (editor)
- In bookshelf: Linguistics
This page is an extract from the LinguaLinks Library, Version 5.0 published on CD-ROM by SIL International, 2003.
Hope it helps
Cheers
Chimo
What could go wrong.......................
Roflmao!!!!
A Point of Clarification for the jury.
What is a question?
Definition Here are two senses of question:
Examples (English) Here are some examples of sentences, ordered to illustrate the two senses of question above:
- A question is an illocutionary act that has a directive illocutionary point of attempting to get the addressee to supply information.
- A question is a sentence type that has a form (labeled interrogative) typically used to express an illocutionary act with the directive illocutionary point mentioned above. It may be actually so used (as a direct illocution), or used rhetorically.
Kinds Here are some kinds of questions:
- An illocutionary act that attempts to obtain information from an addressee
- Tell me your name.
- Give me your address.
- Sentences with inverted word order or interrogative pro-forms
- What’s your name?
- Did you sleep well?
Generic A question is a kind of
- What is an alternative question?
- What is a tag question?
- What is a wh-question?
- What is a yes-no question?
Sources Crystal 1985</I> 254
Hartmann and Stork 1972</I> 190
Larson 1984</I> 234
Mish 1991</I> 966
Context for this page:
- Concept module: question
- In overview module: Glossary (Linguistics): Q
- In modular book: Glossary of linguistic terms, by Eugene E. Loos (general editor), Susan Anderson (editor), Dwight H., Day, Jr. (editor), Paul C. Jordan (editor), and J. Douglas Wingate (editor)
- In bookshelf: Linguistics
Hope it helps
Cheers
Chimo
I would say that's game over!
I would also say,
You've got too much time on your hands.
You should be fishing.
(keep the jokes coming though, those last two were crackers)
More details Chimo.....i dont understand your point................... WTF??????????????????????? you smoking winny blues or something else? LMAO
You need to get out fishing more.illocutionary????????????
Mike
Love your work guys.
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated,"You come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind."
"Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it."You'll really love my place."The grass is almost a foot high"
IF IT CAN'T EAT A WHOLE PILLY I DON'T WANT IT
A 7 year old boy and his 4 year old brother are upstairs in their
bedroom. 'You know what?', says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about
time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to swear first, then
you swear after me, OK?'
'OK, OK' the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he
wants for breakfast. 'I'll have some of that Weetbix shit !'
*SMACK*!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
The mum looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice,'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man????'
'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be f**king Weetbix!'
__________________
haha that's a cracker.............I liked that one!
How to Prepare for a Deployment to Iraq1. Sleep on a cot in the garage.
2. Replace the garage door with a curtain.
3. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."
4. Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your bathtub and move the showerhead down to chest level. Keep four inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet itself. Leave two to three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop using your bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives at least a quarter mile away.
5. When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off.
6. Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and dump dirt on your head.
7. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it on "HIGH" for that tactical generator smell.
8. Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.
9. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level.
10. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.
11. Once a week, blow compressed air up through your chimney making sure the wind carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses you.
12. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.
13. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a saltine cracker.
14. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator. Then serve some kind of meat in an unidentifiable sauce poured over noodles. Do this for every meal.
15. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get to the shower as fast as you can. Simulate there is no hot water by running out into your yard and breaking out the garden hose.
16. Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and put it back together again.
17. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for five or six hours before drinking.
18. Invite at least 185 people you don't really like because of their strange hygiene habits to come and visit for a couple of months. Exchange clothes with them.
19. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.
20. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.
21. Keep a roll of toilet paper on your night stand and bring it to the bathroom with you. And bring your gun and a flashlight.
22. Go to the bathroom when you just have to pass gas, "just in case." Every time.
23. Announce to your family that they have mail, have them report to you as you stand outside your open garage door after supper and then say, "Sorry, it's for the other Smith."
24. Wash only 15 items of laundry per week. Roll up the semi-wet clean clothes in a ball. Place them in a cloth sack in the corner of the garage where the cat pees. After a week, unroll them and without ironing or removing the mildew, proudly wear them to professional meetings and family gatherings. Pretend you don't know what you look or smell like. Enthusiastically repeat the process for another week.
25. Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find, go heavily armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a tent in a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to help them.
26. Eat a single M&M every Sunday and convince yourself it's for Malaria.
27. Demand each family member be limited to 10 minutes per week for a morale phone call. Enforce this with your teenage daughter.
28. Shoot a few bullet holes in the walls of your home for proper ambiance.
29. Sandbag the floor of your car to protect from mine blasts and fragmentation.
30. While traveling down roads in your car, stop at each overpass and culvert and inspect them for remotely detonated explosives before proceeding.
31. Fire off 50 cherry bombs simultaneously in your driveway at 3:00 a.m. When startled neighbors appear, tell them all is well, you are just registering mortars. Tell them plastic will make an acceptable substitute for their shattered windows.
32. Drink your milk and sodas warm.
33. Spread gravel throughout your house and yard.
34. Make your children clear their Super Soakers in a clearing barrel you placed outside the front door before they come in.
35. Make your family dig a survivability position with overhead cover in the backyard. Complain that the 4x4s are not 8 inches on center and make them rebuild it.
36. Continuously ask your spouse to allow you to go buy an M-Gator.
37. When your 5-year-old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the exact stick and flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web page. Type up a Form 9 and staple the web page to the back. Submit the paperwork to your spouse for processing. After two weeks, give your son the gum.
38. Announce to your family that the dog is a vector for disease and shoot it. Throw the dog in a burn pit you dug in your neighbor's back yard.
39. Wait for the coldest/ hottest day of the year and announce to your family that there will be no heat/air conditioning that day so you can perform much needed maintenance on the heater/ air conditioner. Tell them you are doing this so they won't get cold/ hot.
40. Just when you think you're ready to resume a normal life, order yourself to repeat this process for another six months to simulate the next deployment you've been ordered to support.
I love the sound of reels screaming in the morning
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
A: 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
A: 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door.
Q: The king of the jungle, the lion, decided to have a party. He invited every animal in the jungle, but one didn't come. Which one?
A: The giraffe, because it was stuck in the fridge.
Q: Two explorers attempt to cross a crocodile-infested stream. How do they manage to get across?
A: They just wade across. The crocodiles are at the lion's party.
I love the sound of reels screaming in the morning
fgsajdhnfamjfk,ol;
While cleaning her teenage sons bedroom, his mother finds a stack of Hardcore S/M and Bondage Pornography hiding under his mattress.
She is distraught and runs to the father to show him.
"Look at this, what are going to do? how can we punish him?" she wails.
"Well, we certainly wont be giving him a spanking" replies the dad.
And the WAGS have the hide to say they have to go to England because the Cricketers will miss them? Seriously, some folks have it all wrong!
Here's a big cheer to our Servicemen and Women serving overseas. I'm proud of you!!!
Cheers,
Tim
Carbon Really Ain't Pollution.
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